By Rosemary Althoff and Xavier DeSoto
THE JUDGE’S DILEMMA: Life is good in New Orleans for Jeremiah Delacroix, Yale law graduate headed for a cushy job in a white-glove NOLA law firm—until his beloved 93-year-old family maid approaches him with an astounding request. She wants to retain him to take a case involving a land grab with a brutal riot and even murder. The target: Jeremiah’s father and his entire estate.
What brings you peace?
A doctor once told me, “Writing longhand is a good way to regulate a surging, overactive hippocampus. Choose a memory—a good one—and write about it longhand using sensory details. The physical and mental practice of writing causes that organ of the brain to engage, and it begins to slow down.”
My hippocampus, accompanied by a distraught amygdala.
When my mind races, especially if I’m anxious, I grab a pen and my journal and just plunge into writing. The words are not brilliant because I’m not crafting a novel, I’m just pouring out my heart.
In a little while, I calm down. I can, like one of the Shepherd’s sheep, wander into the green pasture and lie down beside the still waters. He restores my soul.
Learning Assertion
“When I saw _X_, I felt _(emotion)_, BECAUSE it means to me that …”
I wanted to write a “because …” article because the reasons WHY we react or respond to events are so important for understanding people. If I have a very strong emotional response—usually negative—to a stimulus event, it may mean that there’s a prior bad event that I have not “worked through.”
For example, I had a critical, punishingkindergarten teacher, but was too young to understand why I withdrew from friends and got an upset stomach before every kindergarten class. My emotional response to that trauma compelled me to avoid making many friends for years—lots of years— until I forced myself to make new friends by choosing a college far away from home.
Shame and blame at an early age was the “because” for my repeated negative emotions when I was presented with meeting new people. I have overcome that old dysfunctional emotion and its response by fully remembering that old trauma.
In sum, every emotion has a response. Being able to name the “because” behind an emotion frees a person to choose a healthy path.
The old dysfunctional but repetitive BECAUSE:
“When I saw a new class at school, I felt ashamed and shy because I thought I was a ‘bad’ girl.”
The new functional and repeatable BECAUSE:
“When I see a new group of people, I feel curious and excited to get to know them because I know I’m loved and accepted and I enjoy sharing that good foundation.”
Happy asserting—and exploring the BECAUSE behind your emotions.
The last few weeks, I’ve spent at a cabin in the north Georgia mountains, working outside in the woods to clean and landscape with natural plants, relaxing inside, and writing and editing Book 3 in the Soul’s Warfare series: The Horned Edge.
This place is where, as a troubled atheist, I sat on the front porch with my Grandma while she gently told me about Jesus. I didn’t have a sudden conversion, but God later took me by the hand and carried me across the Abyss to His side.
My passion, my desire is for my writing to lead people to the One who can help them cross the Abysses in their lives. He is a good Lord, and He loves you.
As an author trying to produce more and make more sales, I read a lot about my craft. The weight of resources out there is staggering! What to choose? How many writing gurus can I sustain?
For a while, I accumulated more newsletters, podcasts, free internet sites than I could manage. My eyes hurt from all the reading, and my emails stacked up until I felt desperate to keep up.
In The Next Right Thing, Emily P. Freeman has a whole chapter on “Stop Collecting Gurus.” (Pp. 143-151.”) So, I created a guru boundary. I’m down to about 5 newsletters and 2 podcasts—and I get into ‘em enough to feel encouraged, not overwhelmed.
However, there may be something fantastic out there. I am still open to considering new stellar writing resources. Tell me, what do you recommend?
Rosemary Althoff, Author 